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Written By: Erik Hale quarantine fun

Some amount of decades ago, you were in college, free from the constraints of your overprotective parents for the first time with hours of homework-procrastinating time to kill. There was no longer a curfew, a bedtime or an internal cleaning service that made your bed each day. You were free to be who you always wanted to be. For many of us, that meant doing the opposite of everything we had been taught. Eating vegetables with dinner? Ridiculous. Going to bed at a decent hour? Not on my watch. Exercise? Exercising your right not to. Am I right?

Well, this quarantine movie we are all living through has given adults some unwanted free time, and we have had some of those very same choices to make. How are you holding up so far? Are you eating a lot of broccoli, going for a jog everyday, learning to play the guitar, abstaining from alcohol and getting to bed by 9? If you are, you can click out of this article now. If not, here are some tips to upgrade your routine.

 

Playing Video Games Until 4 a.m. quarantine fun

The temptation to blow something up right now is likely at an all-time high. Maybe you have thought about dusting off that old Atari for a game of Space Invaders or playing some Wii Tennis. More alone time is probably what you need less of right now.

 

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Upgrade: Jackbox.tv is a website/app with amazing and original adult-facing, multiplayer interactive games that you can play together on Apple TV or create a game night with friends over a Zoom call.

Taking Bong Rips of $5 Bags of Oregano quarantine fun

When you were in college, marijuana wasn’t legal and you had to score some from a sketchy connection named Dwayne in the 7-Eleven parking lot. You rushed home, ripped an apple bong, ate your Top Ramen, finished off a suicide Super Big Gulp and played Doom until you fell asleep.

Upgrade: Today, you can online shop thousands of products like infused gummy bears, infused mints, edibles, and smokeables. There are sativas and indicas, strains and blends. We recommend Caliva, a company that delivers safely and promptly to your door and carries a product suitable for about any situation or individual.

 

Spending Hours on “the” Facebook? quarantine fun

If you put “the” before the name of any social media app, you are probably not using TikTok or Houseparty. You probably use social media to wish people you haven’t seen in 30 years happy birthday with a picture of a cat blowing out candles on “the” Facebook or to complain about the neighbor’s dog pooping on your grass on “the” Nextdoor. You can do better.

@therockThank you for 20M. ##happyathome ##quarantinelife♬ original sound – cosine_yeet

Upgrade: Add some physical movement into your social media distancing. TikTok is not just for the kiddos anymore as Will Smith, Shaq and Dwayne Johnson have proved lately. Get the family together and learn a 15-second dance; it’s a way to get your blood flowing while being less of a “Karen.”

 

You Have Phone Neck 

Pre-coronavirus, you probably had over one million finger-wagging conversations with your kids about their copious amount of screen time. You were literally shocked by how they could spend five hours a day on their phone. Have you looked at your screen time stats lately? It’s probably too embarrassing to share. It is natural to want to stay connected in times like these, but staring at your phone too long can lead to physical and emotional damage.

Upgrade: Set limits on your apps in your phone’s settings. You can limit the amount of time you’re allowed each day. Have your friend or partner set the password, so you aren’t tempted to cheat.

 

Eating Junk Food

All of us have humble-bragged to our friends at one time or another while uttering this exact phrase: “Dude, I literally lived off of (insert Top Ramen or mac and cheese) in college.” Yes, you probably did, but you have a different digestive system now, and there are much better ways to treat your stomach.

Upgrade: Eat your age. Try ordering fettuccini, lasagna, panna cotta and tiramisu from The Italian Homemade Company on your favorite delivery app. Prego (it means “you’re welcome,” in Italian).

 

Drinking so Much, You Wake Up on the Lawn

In college, you drank Natty Lights out of a dirty pitcher or beer bong until you passed out on the couch. In quarantine, you are crushing carafes of Trader Joe’s finest wines until you pass out on the couch. Same same.

Upgrade: Schedule your drinking, keep it classy and do it with friends. Make a “Taco Tuesday” or “Sunday Funday” Zoom call with your friends. Order a nice bottle of Tullamore D.E.W and make this four-ingredient Liquid Gold cocktail.